To use an old psychoanalytic term, what happened to us could also be called an exchange of 'ego ideals'. Ideas like 'France' or 'England', which have to some degree been symbolized, can include within them a mark that guides the subject along its path to socialization. This is the ego ideal, and it is what we had exchanged between us. There is a very close relation between the desire of the Other and the ego ideal, and it is because we carry the desire of the Other that we end up on the wild goose chase for an abstract ideal in the first place. The desiring heart, to some extent, already belongs to the other.
-- Shingu, K (2004) Being Irrational: Lacan, the Objet a, and the Golden Mean. from Japan in analysis: cultures of the unconscious by Parker, Ian. p50.
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